Comfortable or UNcomfortable Boxes?
It’s so much easier to have a conversation when you feel confident and can talk a bit about yourself.
And if someone you just met starts to ask questions about who you are, what you do and what your hobbies are it helps when you clearly know the answers.
Imagine if you ask someone a question like “So, what do you like to do in your spare time?” and they simply shrug their shoulders and mumble an “I dunno”... you’d probably be left standing there thinking… “Huh?”
I know I would.
But I love it if the person I’m talking to is contributing just as much as I am. It takes the pressure off me! We’re in it together, and there are fewer awkward silences, ya know!
Just for the record, conversations like this are only starting points, I know it does take time to get to know people.
I seriously love talking to girls like you. I get to see the world from where you’re at, and I learn a lot! Most of you are trying to figure out what sort of person you are, who you want to be and where you fit in the world. Kind of intense, hey? But the answers to those questions can be so incredible and beautiful too!
So here’s the challenge. Learn to describe who you are without putting yourself in a box. It’s easy to box ourselves in without realising, but it can limit us.
Our neat box answer we thought gave us confidence in conversation, may actually end up being our biggest wall preventing us from exploring who we are.
For example, I often refer to myself as a tomboy. That’s coz I am one. I love wearing boys’ jeans (they’re such a cooler fit on me), I love wearing boys’ runners (their designs are usually way hotter) and I have always been athletic and therefore often hang out with the guys more than the girls.
Soooo… if I like to wear cool boys’ clothes, participate in boyish activities and hang out with the boys, does that mean I’m more of a boy than a girl?
No way! Because a tomboy is not all I am!
This is a dilemma I find some girls are in. Can you say you’re ‘this’ without fitting everybody’s pre-existing ideas about what that is?
Can you say things like “I’m aiming to be a test pilot!” or “I’m going for the world record in knitting!” without trying to fit all the expectations that come with that box?
I say… heck yes… and let’s open these boxes! Who said the lid needs to be closed anyway?
So here are my thoughts on how to get our heads around this one.
#THROW THE BOXES OUT!
There you go. That’s it. My only point. No other bullet points. Throw the boxes out. Why do we need them? We don’t! Why do we need to fit into them? We don’t! What makes us think that they make us confident? They don’t always do that! And why do we think other people should fit into our ideals of who they should be? Coz they won’t!
So let’s be kind and take ourselves off the hook… and while you’re at it, take other people off the hook too.
I recently performed at a big media conference wearing a full length ballerina tutu with my Adidas runners underneath. Hahahaha… yeah I did, and other people in heels were jealous of my comfy choice of footwear. Plus, it was the tomboy in me! I like standing out. I don’t have a problem with that. In fact, it’s a personality trait that I know is the real me.
So there you go. Have fun exploring who you are. Find your flavour, your groove, your style, your scent, your sound, your self, and always leave a bit of room to grow!
#IAMBOLD coz I bust boxes and simply rock what I got.
How have you boxed yourself in? Did you find it stopped you from growing?